Internet dating 101 - or how to date online without looking like a total creep

As I was single for a considerable amount of time I was trying internet dating, for the best part of 2 to 3years.  Through that I have met some great people and some not so great ones, but have found some common themes in the hundreds of profiles I've read and the thousands of messages I've seen and sent.

The topic of creepy people on dating websites has been covered by lots of writers, many who are better and funnier than me. Because of this I'm not going to cover anything like that, but feel free to look around online for examples.One of the things that I never understood about internet dating was how it seems that plenty of polite, people seem to forget their manners and any social skills they have.  What is normal to say on the internet would never be said in any other social realm.

Tip 1 - have an interesting profile with some individual information about yourself

You may love football, beer and going to the gym, but so does everyone else.  That's more or less a staple of online dating profiles. By no means omit this from your statements about yourself, especially if it is an important part of your life - but give me something else to go on.  Say which teams you like, or what beer is your favorite.  Make sure if you are stating things like "I like video games and anime" that you tell me a few titles - so I don't have to waste yours and my time by asking the silly questions first.

Review - Heavy Duty Leather Cuffs

I was lucky enough to win a competition on the
 Sextoys.co.uk forums for these products, which are available to purchase here

The products I got had been sent to Sextoys as a sample so I am unable to comment on the packaging as there was none. 

The cuffs are made of leather and are fairly wide, all the seams on them are glued well and feel quite sturdy for their size.  There's a large buckle on each end of the cuffs which is made of some kind of leather.  The cuffs are easy to put on and take off by yourself - which may be a consideration if you are looking for more inescapable play toys, but for general bedroom fun and self bondage the fact you can set yourself free is a bonus

The cuffs look very similar - Me and S had to take a moment to figure out which set would be which, and assumed that the handcuffs would be the shorter of the set.  This could be a drawback if they're in a drawer and you need quick access to them.

From this point onwards I am going to split the review and talk about the handcuffs and ankle cuffs separately.

Sinful Sunday - Breast Cancer Awareness

This weeks Sinful Sunday is for breast cancer awareness, an important thing to raise awareness of.
Remember to check your breasts, balls and other parts as often as you can. An easy way to remember is to do it on the first day of the month.

Pictures after the jump.

Barriers

If you've read my previous post you will know I'm in a semi new relationship. You could also probably gather that I am sex mad and love the fact I'm now getting sex more than once a year

Sex has always been something that has been a little impersonal and emotionless to me. This is due to the more casual nature of my hook ups, I don't need to feel emotionally connected to someone to have sex with them on a purely physical level, particuarly when there's no need to help or give that person more pleasure than I want to, which happens a lot with the selfish nature of casual sex. With that in mind there's always a barrier between me and that person, on a psychological level, and also a physical level through the use of condoms.

Since I've not had a steady partner I have always practiced safe sex. Condoms however make things less sensitive, stop the natural flow of events, requires some level of planning and feel horrible. No one really likes condoms, but using them is needed and I have always been careful about it. In a relationship all of this changes of course, provided there's contraception and both parties know they are free of STI's.  Both me and S have tested clean (I have twice - more than three months apart) and feel safe to stop using condoms as a contraceptive method and have no need to use them as an STI prevention due to our poly group being a closed one. (I am on hormonal contraceptives also)

Problem is we both seem to have some emotional significance to the use of condoms.  I have never had sex without condoms, which is good but maybe the reason why it is emotionally significant to me.  It does not feel as close mentally to me using them as it probably will without and it feels like we are making a commitment to each other when we stop using them (this hasn't happened yet - but next time we see each other probably will)

I honestly don't really know how I feel about it. At the moment emotional sex has been pleasant and a lot better than sex I have had with previous partners. It's often times pleasure enough for me to make my partner feel happy or have penetrative sex to just feel close to him.  I don't think much will change without them but only time will really tell!

new beginnings

It's been a while since I posted on here- there's several reasons for it, but I shan't bore you with them when i have something a lot more interesting to discuss!

    

I think I finally have a boyfriend :D

Me and S met about a month ago and have clicked quite well. due to me being unemployed and him being in a non 9 to 5 job we have managed so far to spend quite a bit of time together (this is about to change due to S' new job, but it's not a big deal as we will now have weekends) As it's been such a short amount of time I'm not really sure on things like titles (we don't really need them, but its why i *think* rather than just have)

    

 We share the same interests and some similar hobbies, and just like hanging out together. this last weekend with him i just chilled and watched him play black mesa on steam, happy to be with him.

It is however early days, and although we both feel confident that this is a viable relationship there are some things we need to do more carefully than others due to him (and by extension most likely me in the future) being polyamorous with another (more primary and established) relationship. There's also the fact that I have never had a committed romantic relationships so have nothing to base my experiences on. That however can be a whole other post when I've had time to think about the formats of it and analysed how I feel a little bit more. polyamory is a new type of relationship to me so I'm not the best person to be posting and talking about it.

   

All in all though the thought of spending time with him and actually being with him gives me the warm fuzzies that any relationship should

As a side note I am wondering how readers (if there are any) like the layout and format of the blog, eg the adverts and backgrounds, text formatting and colour scheme.  I'd appreciate some feedback on this as I would like to make this blog the best it can be. I know my spelling and grammar need improvement (which is tricky due to dyslexia) so there is that to work on.