Sunday, 2 February 2014

Sexy gifts

Valentines day is coming, and with it the dilemma of getting a special someone in your life gifts.  This is made even trickier if you decide to get them some nice sexy gifts.  I'm going to recommend some toys that I have and love, or have heard excellent things about.  All these are purchasable through and I will be recommending products within a few price ranges.  If you would like more advice then please don't hesitate to comment and I can try to help you personally, or other commenters may have some ideas too.

Products after the jump

Monday, 20 January 2014

Relationships and Experiences

Most of you will know that I’ve been seeing Doc for a while now, and that the relationship that he and I share is a complicated one.  It’s rewarding and satisfying but there isn’t any labels that we have put on it that means it is complicated.  It's safe to say that I have gotten through the NRE/ new relationship stage and things have settled a little bit.

I am technically single, since he and I have never really talked seriously about being boyfriend and girlfriend, however if I had to describe myself I would consider myself as not being single.  We are at present monogamous, have sex without condoms and are therefore fluid bonded.  We see each other weekly on average, varying depending on his work schedules and events like holidays that have thrown the average off a little.  We do couple- like stuff such as go out to the cinema and for meals.  All this means that I'm not really looking for anyone else, and he is not either.

The lack of a label and technicalities really do not bother me, which I thought they would.  All I have ever wanted is stability from sexual partners, and that is what I have with Doc.  I am happier now than I have ever been, even when I was in a relationship 

Doc challenges me and I feel so comfortable with this.  I swore that I would never do anal as I didn’t like toys, but he reassured me and it is now something I have tried a few times and enjoy.  I feel so comfortable with him that I was able to give him the experience ad trust to enhance my sex life tenfold.   

The most major thing is that I am slowly becoming more comfortable with come and semen, so much so that I can give him oral sex, and feel OK with having come inside me.  Before I would need to immediately remove come from myself as it made me retch to even think of it, and I would never even dream of giving a blowjob due to bad experiences and general squeamishness.  I still have a way to go with overcoming my issues, but it is getting to the stage where I feel like I am ready to, knowing that I have someone who is understanding and supportive.

There are things to improve on, as with any relationship.  I sometimes worry too much about things and over analyze, and Doc isn't the most forthcoming or honest person when it comes to discussing his needs and wants, but he is becoming more comfortable with it the longer the relationship has gone on, which is really nice.

All in all I am feeling fantastic and happy. I have someone who is an amazing person, and hope it continues!

Wednesday, 1 January 2014

Jimmyjane Hello Touch Review

The Hello touch is a wired vibrator with two motors that sits on the fingers.  The idea behind the vibrator is that it is small and unobtrusive so is ideal for partner sex and masturbation.  The battery sits on your wrist in a special wrist guard that comes with the vibrator.  I bought mine from Lovehoney


The vibrator comes in a fairly nice box, with a picture of the vibrator on the front ( like the one above) It also has glowing reviews plastered all over it.  The packaging is tasteful, but it's one that is obvious of contents so couldn't really be used as storage.

More of the review after the jump

Monday, 23 December 2013

Lovehoney Enjoy Water Based Lube

This is a review of the Lovehoney enjoy water based lube that I purchased myself from Lovehoney (Obviously!)

This lubricant is glycerin  free and is currently on sale for £4.99 for 100ml so is fairly cheap.

image from

As with any Lovehoney product it comes in fairly tasteful packaging.  I have used this lube on my own as well with a partner for vaginal and anal sex.

a full review can be read after the break

Wednesday, 18 December 2013

How to talk dirty - tips and tricks from an ex phone sex girl

Talking dirty is something I am really good at, according to my partners.  It's something I did for a little while as an income earner ( which wasn't working out, so I haven't for a while) There's a few really simple things that you can do which will make you seem amazing if done with confidence and enthusiasm!

Think of a theme and keep to it
Most people have a set of fantasies that work well together, and it does not seem too jarring if you switch between similar activities, which gives you plenty to talk about without repeating yourself.
 there's some basic ideas, such as dominating someone " you are mine to do what I want with, you slut" ,being the submissive "please use me, make me into a dirty little slut", describing a sex act such as anal or oral sex " I love it when you do X". Tailor your theme to your partner as much as possible.  Dirty talk is all about fantasies so it may be a safe way to explore activities you may not want to act out in real life.

Prepare a rough scenario
This is easier if there is only one of you talking, such as phone sex, but can be adapted to give a partner a chance to respond and contribute.  Don't be too rigid in your script but think of a few key phrases and scenarios that you would like to describe so that you don't have as much of a pause in your speech patterns.  This is quite useful as sometimes during sex you will be thinking of other things or distracted by the activities you are doing

Try not to repeat yourself
Repeating phrases isn't sexy, and can throw the partner you are talking to off.  If you can't think of anything there and then ask your partner for feedback, such as "mmm I bet you love it when I do X"  This will give you some time and a jumping off point for where to go next.  Don't worry too much about repetition ( it's not a game of "just a minute" after all!) but its usually not good in excess.

Practice a sexy tone of voice
Part of the fun of talking dirty for the listening/receiving partner is thinking that it is turning on the speaker. In the majority of cases this is true, but sometimes it's done to please a partner and not really a thing you are into at that particular point in time.  The tone of your voice can set the mood and sometimes cover for confidence wobbles or pauses in the talk ( such as a few moans when you are trying to think of what's next!) Practice in the shower or when you are on your own, as it will also help with your self confidence!

Don't be afraid to let go
Part of dirty talking is putting on a character that you usually wouldn't be.  You might feel comfortable swearing or in the use of slang words.  Enjoy this role and let it develop naturally the more turned on you get, let yourself moan and be as loud as you want to, a good partner will not judge you for what's said in the heat of the moment.

Relax and enjoy!
If you think you sound silly, or are not confident it will show up in your voice, try to feel confident if you can.  You can always practice sexy talk through text message or e mail until you feel comfortable with the style of it before trying it on a partner who is in the same space as you

Hope this helps a little and hope you have fun!

Wednesday, 11 December 2013

When things don't work - what to do when not quite in the mood

Sex is like many things in life in that it sometimes does not go according to plan.  Many of is have grown up with an idealized version of sex.  He's always able to get hard and she's always wet, everyone can always come and it's always enjoyable, your partner has the same level of sex drive that you do and they are always ready to go.  We know life isn't like this, but sometimes we can still get stressed out when things don't go to plan and make a situation worse.  I'm going to run  through a few of the more common hurdles to sex and what can be done to make them less of an issue. I've tried to make the advice as applicable to all relationship types as possible, but it may have a hetronormative  slant, so read on after the jump!

Monday, 9 December 2013

New Relationship Energy

New Relationship Energy (or NRE) is a term used in the Polyamorous community to describe the feelings of happiness and joy that comes with a new partner or relationship.  Sometimes It's called the honeymoon period amongst vanilla people.  It happens to some extent in all relationships and just totally relying on these feelings can spell disaster.  NRE can happen in new relationships in poly situations, which can then have an effect on other more established relationships, just as it can happen to monogamous couples.  NRE lasts different lengths of time depending on the people and their individual relationships.

I get badly affected by NRE.  It's happening now in my relationship with Doc.  Feelings are flying everywhere for both of us and are generally making things slightly more complicated than they should be in a more casual/ fuck buddy relationship.  I tend to feel really loved and happy when in NRE, and that the person I am seeing is the best ever, that I could build a life with them.  It's all rainbows and unicorn farts which probably makes me annoying to those around me.  If I let these feelings run away with themselves it can often lead to me feeling rejected and unwanted (which is exacerbated by the years of emotional abuse that lends itself to feeling like that anyway)  While in NRE I feel like I always want a serious relationship with the person I am involved with which leads to me rushing ahead of myself sometimes.

There are ways to cope with NRE and to manage any potentially negative consequences:

The best way to deal with NRE is through open discussion with your partner(s) and to acknowledge that these feelings will not last forever.  With NRE there is a tendency to want to spend every opportunity with the new partner - often forsaking friends, family and other things in your life.  This can make it harder when the NRE wears off and you want to spend time in a more balanced way.  Acknowledging NRE and making an effort to keep things balanced will at least help.

After NRE is gone it's important to develop a more lasting and committed relationship with the partner in question.  You might not be doing as much impressive stuff as you were in the dating stage - but it is still important to keep the sparks there.  Do things occasionally that replicate that excitement, but remember that the established and deep connection you now probably share is just as good - if not better.  bonding during the NRE period sets you up for a deeper level of commitment and

NRE in most people is fun, exciting and in no way problematic.  Enjoy the new stages of the relationship and don't stress out about it. You may even look back on it fondly in the future.