Barriers

If you've read my previous post you will know I'm in a semi new relationship. You could also probably gather that I am sex mad and love the fact I'm now getting sex more than once a year

Sex has always been something that has been a little impersonal and emotionless to me. This is due to the more casual nature of my hook ups, I don't need to feel emotionally connected to someone to have sex with them on a purely physical level, particuarly when there's no need to help or give that person more pleasure than I want to, which happens a lot with the selfish nature of casual sex. With that in mind there's always a barrier between me and that person, on a psychological level, and also a physical level through the use of condoms.

Since I've not had a steady partner I have always practiced safe sex. Condoms however make things less sensitive, stop the natural flow of events, requires some level of planning and feel horrible. No one really likes condoms, but using them is needed and I have always been careful about it. In a relationship all of this changes of course, provided there's contraception and both parties know they are free of STI's.  Both me and S have tested clean (I have twice - more than three months apart) and feel safe to stop using condoms as a contraceptive method and have no need to use them as an STI prevention due to our poly group being a closed one. (I am on hormonal contraceptives also)

Problem is we both seem to have some emotional significance to the use of condoms.  I have never had sex without condoms, which is good but maybe the reason why it is emotionally significant to me.  It does not feel as close mentally to me using them as it probably will without and it feels like we are making a commitment to each other when we stop using them (this hasn't happened yet - but next time we see each other probably will)

I honestly don't really know how I feel about it. At the moment emotional sex has been pleasant and a lot better than sex I have had with previous partners. It's often times pleasure enough for me to make my partner feel happy or have penetrative sex to just feel close to him.  I don't think much will change without them but only time will really tell!