This past fortnight has been one amazing rollercoster of sexual adventure for me, from a low to some brilliant highs!
In a previous post I mentioned the possibility of G the 1st becoming a fuck buddy ( or at least someone to have a one off vanilla sex session with)
We had arranged a date and as it got closer we continued texting. The more we talked the more I realised that he was painfully inexperienced and vanilla, he assumed that he wouldn't like a simple cock ring ( the lovehoney basic ring). It became apparent that he probably wouldn't show, and come the day before our rendezvous he text to cancel.
I must admit that though the sex would have been vanilla I was a little disappointed. I honestly though that it was my one and only chance for sex and that it would be a very long time till I got the opportunity!
and now for the high...
As I have previously written there's always been a curiosity for BDSM play experience, which i thought would be a long time coming. Out of curiosity i joined Fetlife - an online community. Not expecting any offers of play or anything, but to arm myself with information and to find out about kinks that I may not have thought about, but could add to my sex life.
The day I joined I had an offer from J, a Dominant whom was keen to meet and to help me experience kink. Being intrigued we set about communicating and eventually met up
So far there's a long list of things I have tried and loved, from normal penetrative sex ( which I have done before of course) to spanking with various rubber whips and even electrotorture using the TENS kit and a violet wand. I have always wanted to use a violet wand toy, to see if it is different from the TENS kit that I all ready have. the feeling of a violet wand is more precise, like a pins and needles feeling but more pleasurable and slightly more intense.
BDSM is so much more powerful emotionally than I ever thought it would be, and my fears about it being similar pain to what I have experienced in an unpleasurable setting was totally unfounded. There's something quite beautiful about being able to let go and to trust someone to inflict pain in a way that is both safe and pleasurable. being submissive and having sensory deprivation toys used makes you slip into a head space that is calm and totally clear - which is amazing during stressful times.
J has a lot of tools and implements that I simply haven't had access to. A slave table has to be a favorite. being bound face down onto a table is fun, especially when there are access points to my tits and pussy! I also tried a fucking machine - a lot of fun and so different from normal masturbation. The Hitachi magic wand is a really versatile tool to use. directly on my clit it is too intense for me to bear - J's favorite is to bind and gag me then place it on my clit and follow me around the bed with it as I try to escape. However used against the mons and pussy lips it can make me orgasm in under a minute! For something similar to the Hitatchi try Lovehoney's 7 speed wand essentials toy. we experimented with hot wax, something that is impossible to do on your own. the feeling of the warm wax hitting the skin is really sensual and gets even better as it slowly hardens. Having a trail of wax run down the pussy lips is a strange but great sensation.
There's been many firsts. I never thought I would be able to orgasm standing up, but the combination of intense nipple torture ( 1o oz weights suspended from clover clamps feel great) and clit play whilst my hands were bound and held high to the ceiling managed to get me there.
I've ticked off many fantasies too, such as being fucked while gagged,blindfolded and bound. I've had my breasts bound - a feat I thought would be impossible. Nipple play really turns me on, the rush of blood to a nipple that has been clamped then released is a feeling like none other.
There's nothing about the BDSM that I've tried that was bad or unpleasurable. I found that I suffered "sub drop" quite easily on the first meeting, the feeling of mild upset that has no mental or logical reasoning behind it is quite intimidating if you don't know it's coming and don't know what it is. However on my second meeting ( which this blog is being written from) sub drop hasn't happened. Sub drop is easily dealt with by communication, support and aftercare by the Dominant.
At the moment my tolerance for pain is fairly low with implements like whips and Canes (I can stand more with electro toys like violet wands though, in fact the highest setting on the machine that J uses)
All in all I would class myself as submissive. the thought of having full control over someone elses sexual autonomy leaves me cold. Don't get me wrong, in a relationship I want to be an equal partner, I just don't mind being tied up and treated like the dirty little slut I am from time to time.
