As any of you who read reguarly will know i have what I consider a healthy sex drive.
The only thing that I am not particuarly happy with is what happens to me when I go through times of stress or unhappyness.
When I feel stressed or unhappy I find that great relief comes from sexual release, be it sex or masturbation. It becomes a greater need than usual and I find myself preoccupied with masturbation, so much so that it becomes a distraction from everyday life and things that i should be doing to deal with the situation at hand.
It's easy to deal with though, through self imposed celibacy. I am approaching the final exams of my university career, and as expected it is a time of stress and i am constantly as horny as hell. This is the first time I've tried celibacy it has got me thinking about how my situation is quite fortunate at the moment. Celibacy isn't too hard to do while i am single, it's simply a case of self restraint, and it's only my needs that suffer. It would become so much trickier to deal with the hypersexual stage if I was in a relationship, as it would become an issue to me if my partner suffered because of my actions.
Being celibate for this time isn't proving too difficult. It's only a week or so untill my exams are over, and im finding that I am focusing much more than I usually do when undertaking university work and revision. it feels quite empowering to be free of the urges, but not something I want to do for a longer period than a week!
Posting may be a bit irregular over the next few weeks or so because of exams and moving and all the other things related to the end of a university year.
Sunday, 1 May 2011
Thursday, 14 April 2011
singledom
being single is kind of annoying to me now.
even dating sites are loosing their appeal. there's a lot of people I see multiple times in my matches, and if they didn't reply the first time it's not like they're suddenly going to become interseted.
there is no one on the scene, and vauge interest from someone who uses "maybe" and "might" when reffering to my offers of travelling home to fuck his brains out is more than infuriating!
Although it's a bit lonley and things, at least having toys is fun.
I've also been seriously considering getting a Vertical Clitoral Hood piercing. Anyone have one of them? Does it really take at least 3 weeks for it to heal? 3 weeks of chastity wouldn't be realistic for me, I can barley go a day without! does it enhance sex dramatically or numb the area.
If you were to have sex with someone for the first time and you found out they had a genital piercing would it put you off at all?
even dating sites are loosing their appeal. there's a lot of people I see multiple times in my matches, and if they didn't reply the first time it's not like they're suddenly going to become interseted.
there is no one on the scene, and vauge interest from someone who uses "maybe" and "might" when reffering to my offers of travelling home to fuck his brains out is more than infuriating!
Although it's a bit lonley and things, at least having toys is fun.
I've also been seriously considering getting a Vertical Clitoral Hood piercing. Anyone have one of them? Does it really take at least 3 weeks for it to heal? 3 weeks of chastity wouldn't be realistic for me, I can barley go a day without! does it enhance sex dramatically or numb the area.
If you were to have sex with someone for the first time and you found out they had a genital piercing would it put you off at all?
Tuesday, 5 April 2011
Dating Disasters
As most readers should know I am single, and currently looking for a fuck buddy or even a long term relationship.
In the course of this I have been on some dates, mostly being pretty disastrous.
Last Autumn i met up with someone in a city near where I live, we'd agreed to go to an art museum because it was free and we were both pretty poor at the time. When we arrived He started moaning about how he hated it there and didn't bother looking at any of the exhibits, at times actually pulling me through some of the halls! He'd talked online for ages about how he loved the particular museum and things so I'd assumed he would let me look through them in peace. what was worse was he refused to go into any gallery that had artwork from other cultures or countries and got really pissy when i went in them without him! Just as i thought the day couldn't get any worse we went to the cafe for a drink. at which point he decided to melt chocolate into his tea and drink it from a spoon! I just wanted the ground to swallow me up. He repeatedly stated that he didn't want a girlfriend ( which is a lot different from what he had said online) and how his family were god awful and all his friends were out to get him, as if paranoia is somehow attractive.
So we finished looking through the museum, and then went for a walk around the town centre, where he made a point of talking to every shop assistant there was, even if he wasn't buying anything and there was a que of people waiting to be served. He had no idea of any of the social rules that are at play in public, and it was just a really awkward day.
You would think that i would have learned from this experience but it seems that this is just t the kind of guy i attract! Recently I went on a first date with someone from around uni, to the local student pub, below his student accommodation. He turned up late, then left me on my own in the pub to go get cash, despite walking past 4 machines on his way to the pub from the lecture halls. He then started to talk loudly about his political ideas, and would not accept any reasonable debate against it. At one point he tried to deny the common knowledge proven facts, stating that I knew nothing when the information is part of my degree. We then went on to talk about hobbies and interests. whenever he got excited he would shout louder, throw his arms about and squeal. I could see people actually pointing and laughing at us, yet he was totally oblivious to it all. I did feel bad when i made my excuses after half an hour or so, but I do think that i gave it a fair chance.
All in all that date was kinda depressing, I know I'm not attractive conventionally or anything, but all I would like is a partner who shares some of my interests and knows how to behave in a relationship and in public. surely that's not too much to ask for?
Last Autumn i met up with someone in a city near where I live, we'd agreed to go to an art museum because it was free and we were both pretty poor at the time. When we arrived He started moaning about how he hated it there and didn't bother looking at any of the exhibits, at times actually pulling me through some of the halls! He'd talked online for ages about how he loved the particular museum and things so I'd assumed he would let me look through them in peace. what was worse was he refused to go into any gallery that had artwork from other cultures or countries and got really pissy when i went in them without him! Just as i thought the day couldn't get any worse we went to the cafe for a drink. at which point he decided to melt chocolate into his tea and drink it from a spoon! I just wanted the ground to swallow me up. He repeatedly stated that he didn't want a girlfriend ( which is a lot different from what he had said online) and how his family were god awful and all his friends were out to get him, as if paranoia is somehow attractive.
So we finished looking through the museum, and then went for a walk around the town centre, where he made a point of talking to every shop assistant there was, even if he wasn't buying anything and there was a que of people waiting to be served. He had no idea of any of the social rules that are at play in public, and it was just a really awkward day.
You would think that i would have learned from this experience but it seems that this is just t the kind of guy i attract! Recently I went on a first date with someone from around uni, to the local student pub, below his student accommodation. He turned up late, then left me on my own in the pub to go get cash, despite walking past 4 machines on his way to the pub from the lecture halls. He then started to talk loudly about his political ideas, and would not accept any reasonable debate against it. At one point he tried to deny the common knowledge proven facts, stating that I knew nothing when the information is part of my degree. We then went on to talk about hobbies and interests. whenever he got excited he would shout louder, throw his arms about and squeal. I could see people actually pointing and laughing at us, yet he was totally oblivious to it all. I did feel bad when i made my excuses after half an hour or so, but I do think that i gave it a fair chance.
All in all that date was kinda depressing, I know I'm not attractive conventionally or anything, but all I would like is a partner who shares some of my interests and knows how to behave in a relationship and in public. surely that's not too much to ask for?
Saturday, 12 March 2011
Monday, 28 February 2011
Visit to a Strip club
On Friday night I met up with a friend I hadn't seen in a while and we decided to go to a strip club. It was my first visit to such a place, and it was quite fun if I am honest.
We visited a Platinum lace gentlemens club which are female friendly. There's the main bar area that has topless dancing and than an upstairs vip with the booths. While it is female friendly me and my mate were the only unacompanied females in there ( i.e women there without their boyfriends or a male) and it did raise a few eyebrows of the male clientele, one even wandering over and stating that we were lesbians! If I was more self concious it could have put me off I think. The club was clean, the bar was well staffed and there was a visibile prescence of security guards which I found comforting.
My first dance was pretty cool, having a pretty woman writhing about on your lap, groping you and shoving her boobs in your face is rather sexy, and the private dances at the club are fully naked ones. I was quite nervous at first, and found it hard to relax and enjoy it, I'm still not totally convinved that it's something thats really sexy, but I would be interested in going to a strip club with a partner, to see if buying dances and picking girls out for them would be sexy. By the end of the night I had had 4 private dances off of different women, and my friend had picked some of them for me, her judgement of women that I would find atractive was suprisingly good. My friend is straight and her eagerness at going to a strip club suprised me. I do wonder though at her eagerness and continual claims of "this is so cool, I love boobs" wether she was entirley comfortable with it.
While it was sexy there was always the thought that the women are only dancing for the money, and I personally have a hard time reducing attraction to a person down to a physical thing. It's not a cliche at all to say that I find personality more attractive than looks. Despite these issues I would go again. I even got a number off of a slightly drunk bloke, it's a shame i wasn't attracted to him.
We visited a Platinum lace gentlemens club which are female friendly. There's the main bar area that has topless dancing and than an upstairs vip with the booths. While it is female friendly me and my mate were the only unacompanied females in there ( i.e women there without their boyfriends or a male) and it did raise a few eyebrows of the male clientele, one even wandering over and stating that we were lesbians! If I was more self concious it could have put me off I think. The club was clean, the bar was well staffed and there was a visibile prescence of security guards which I found comforting.
My first dance was pretty cool, having a pretty woman writhing about on your lap, groping you and shoving her boobs in your face is rather sexy, and the private dances at the club are fully naked ones. I was quite nervous at first, and found it hard to relax and enjoy it, I'm still not totally convinved that it's something thats really sexy, but I would be interested in going to a strip club with a partner, to see if buying dances and picking girls out for them would be sexy. By the end of the night I had had 4 private dances off of different women, and my friend had picked some of them for me, her judgement of women that I would find atractive was suprisingly good. My friend is straight and her eagerness at going to a strip club suprised me. I do wonder though at her eagerness and continual claims of "this is so cool, I love boobs" wether she was entirley comfortable with it.
While it was sexy there was always the thought that the women are only dancing for the money, and I personally have a hard time reducing attraction to a person down to a physical thing. It's not a cliche at all to say that I find personality more attractive than looks. Despite these issues I would go again. I even got a number off of a slightly drunk bloke, it's a shame i wasn't attracted to him.
Saturday, 12 February 2011
Fuck buddies
I've had a fuck buddy in the past, when i was 18 i lost my virginity to the Canadian, after which we decided to just have casual sex. To be honest i would absolutley adore having another relationship like this. Sex with the canadian was boring, vanilla and very selfish on his behalf. Another fuck buddy like that would be pointless, but i can see the attraction in getting sex and being satisfied without the emotional baggage of a relationship! I am wiser than i was then, so its a certainty that i wouldn't put up with such crap.
I am, at the moment trying to find a long term committed partner ( as in a boy/girlfriend) but it gets really tricky when it comes down to the fact that i am highly sexed and i do worry sometimes that being so open and honest with those i meet can be a little off putting.
It's a theory of mine that just having regular sex with someone might make it a little easier to meet someone and not want to fuck their brains out just 'cause im desperatley horny and haven't got laid in a long time. It would also help me feel a lot less frustrated in life in general.
I struggle to find a fuck buddy however, as my confidence is zero. I'm not the kinda person to go out to a bar and pull, never have been and never will be. Even online dating has more nuances and subtleteys than i can understand. When it comes to relationships and seduction my method is usually outright asking "wanna fuck" which dosen't seem to work that well! yes there are dating sites purley for fuck buddies or casual sex, but to me most of them seem a little seedy so i tend to avoid them.
For me emotions don't factor into sex. I can start a relationship with someone knowing that they don't really care for me, nor I for them and be fine. Its when a relationship starts out as "we will date" and then turns into something casual that gives me issues. I guess my emotions are like a tap. If its off its off and won't turn itself on of its own volition. but if its on then turning it off becomes tricky.
I am, at the moment trying to find a long term committed partner ( as in a boy/girlfriend) but it gets really tricky when it comes down to the fact that i am highly sexed and i do worry sometimes that being so open and honest with those i meet can be a little off putting.
It's a theory of mine that just having regular sex with someone might make it a little easier to meet someone and not want to fuck their brains out just 'cause im desperatley horny and haven't got laid in a long time. It would also help me feel a lot less frustrated in life in general.
I struggle to find a fuck buddy however, as my confidence is zero. I'm not the kinda person to go out to a bar and pull, never have been and never will be. Even online dating has more nuances and subtleteys than i can understand. When it comes to relationships and seduction my method is usually outright asking "wanna fuck" which dosen't seem to work that well! yes there are dating sites purley for fuck buddies or casual sex, but to me most of them seem a little seedy so i tend to avoid them.
For me emotions don't factor into sex. I can start a relationship with someone knowing that they don't really care for me, nor I for them and be fine. Its when a relationship starts out as "we will date" and then turns into something casual that gives me issues. I guess my emotions are like a tap. If its off its off and won't turn itself on of its own volition. but if its on then turning it off becomes tricky.
Tuesday, 1 February 2011
body confidence.
Toyboy has long since disappeared which is probably a good thing. I long for some kinky sex though, and while solo play is awesome it's not quite the same as having a partner. They're both satisfying, but after so long without sex solo play has become kinda "meh".
I've been trying to work on my self confidence a little recently, and for me this means learning to like my body by taking pictures.
Ive never really liked my boobs. I think they're droopy and as you can see i have some acne scars on them that I'm fairly conscious of. but still they're *my* boobs, and they're never going to be perfect. though they are more symmetrical then they appear in this photo, I must have got the nipple tassels on a little wonky and i suck at taking pictures. they're nice and big and look good in a bra, which is how most people will see them.
I must endeavour to update this thing more. though its hard to blog about sex when you're not getting laid. An update is in the works about my toy collection though and if anyone reads this and wants some content on anything specific there more than welcome to comment.
I've been trying to work on my self confidence a little recently, and for me this means learning to like my body by taking pictures.
Ive never really liked my boobs. I think they're droopy and as you can see i have some acne scars on them that I'm fairly conscious of. but still they're *my* boobs, and they're never going to be perfect. though they are more symmetrical then they appear in this photo, I must have got the nipple tassels on a little wonky and i suck at taking pictures. they're nice and big and look good in a bra, which is how most people will see them.I must endeavour to update this thing more. though its hard to blog about sex when you're not getting laid. An update is in the works about my toy collection though and if anyone reads this and wants some content on anything specific there more than welcome to comment.
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