G the 1st

So far there have been two men, who shared a first name that have been pivotal in my perceptions of sex and relationships.
G the 1st came at a point in my life where I was going through hell. I remember turning 16 while this fling was going on. The only physical contact I ever made with him was one hug, yet it’s been more important than some of my most intimate partners. Even now when were home he tries to get me to have sex with him! It was the summer of 2007 when I got talking to a boy in one of my 6th form classes, we shared a love of videogames and music, and he showed interest in me, which in my fragile state I perceived to be affection. I basically laid it on a plate for him and deemed us to be able to have a “no strings” relationship when I was too young and foolish to know what one truly meant. With the benefit of hindsight I think I thought that he’d end up falling in love with me, and that things would be happily ever after. Pure escapism form going home every night to my parents arguing and things. G1 knew what was going on, some things I never even shared with others, and he knew I was vulnerable, he took advantage. I thank god I never actually slept with him, as I would regret it. For a long time this encounter made me feel like I couldn’t “do” no strings, and that it was bad to trust anyone so much. The furthest I ever got with him was doing a bit of “cyber” which was greatly hindered by the fact that both of us were virgins and did not have the slightest clue about the general mechanics of sex. I seem to distinctly remember that I used to copy phrases from literotica.com, but he seemed to love it! Other than that there was the time I gave him a “webcam show” which involved me showing him my breasts while leaning back against the door to the family study and hoping like hell that no one would walk in or find the msn chat history. We talked endlessly about sex, and what we would do to each other, we even went so far as to make plans to meet in the towns park and have sex there, though it never happened. Eventually G1 got a girlfriend, and became extremely nasty towards me. He spread rumours around our home town, and called me a liar amongst other not so choice things. It upset me at the time, but nowadays I see it as a learning curve. Back then anyone who showed affection or even interest in me had boundless love and trust from me; I guess I had to learn the hard way not to give it. It was a long time after that before I had the will or the opportunity to have a relationship, and I still remember the lessons I learnt from this episode today.